Hockey Funny Quotes

"Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40 mph chess"

- Lowell Cohn

10

"When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, 'Hey, you hockey puck!'"

- Don Rickles

4

"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."

- Rodney Dangerfield

4

"Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept."

- Doug Larson

4

"The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem."

- Harry Sinden

3

"I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick."

- Sarah Palin

3

"All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity."

- Gordie Howe

3

"Either you give it right back or the next thing you know everyone and his brother will be trying you on for size."

- Doug Harvey

2

"The top three worst things I've seen in hockey? The invention of the trap. The invention of the morning skate. And the invention of the extremely ugly uniform."

- Brett Hull

2

"Red ice sells hockey tickets."

- Bob Stewart

2