Hockey Funny Quotes

Inspirational Hockey Funny Quotes for Athletes

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40 mph chess

- Lowell Cohn
7
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

- Rodney Dangerfield
4
All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.

- Gordie Howe
3
Red ice sells hockey tickets.

- Bob Stewart
2
I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick.

- Sarah Palin
2
How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?

- Jacques Plante
1
Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended playing hockey.

- Unknown
1
Hockey is the only job I know where you get paid to have a nap on the day of the game.

- Chico Resch
1
That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.

- Stu Grimson
1
Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.

- Doug Larson
4
When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, 'Hey, you hockey puck!'

- Don Rickles
4
The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem.

- Harry Sinden
3
The top three worst things I've seen in hockey? The invention of the trap. The invention of the morning skate. And the invention of the extremely ugly uniform.

- Brett Hull
2
Either you give it right back or the next thing you know everyone and his brother will be trying you on for size.

- Doug Harvey
2
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records.

- Unknown
1
When Hell freezes over, I'll play hockey there too.

- Unknown
1
You're not really a hockey player until you've lost a few teeth.

- Bill Gadsb
1
There are too many one-hour players. They're waiting for one hour of indoor ice when they could use the natural ice God has given them for five or six hours

- John Mariucci
1